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The will to say no in your relationship

There is no point in dating for the sake of it, if you are looking for a relationship. Unless your goal is just to test the waters and have a bit of fun, then you do not need to read this.

Saying no in dating is about being strategic. Being strategic is about making wise romantic choices. Making wise romantic choices is about finding the man of your life.

There is no point in dating for the sake of it, if you are looking for a relationship. Unless your goal is just to test the waters and have a bit of fun, then you do not need to read this.

This newsletter is for single women who are serious about dating and are ready for true love. To find a decent man who wants what you want, you need to be clear and firm. No compromises whatsoever.

You need to develop a few qualities which will help you stay strong and focused when dating. Know who you are and what you want. Otherwise you will be dating aimlessly and wasting your time. In the end you will feel drained and you will swear true love does not exist.

You need to have strong boundaries in place so you weed out the men who do not have potential and move on quickly to the ones who promise more.
Stay grounded and create a great relationship with yourself. This will be your anchor especially when you get rejected or your feelings are not reciprocated.
Become happy with yourself and your life. Not only will you be more attractive to men but most of all when you are happy you are not desperate to find love. The more relaxed you are, the easier the dating is.

Once you have these in place you are ready to get down to dating business with the right attitude.

*Say No to All the Time Wasters
You need to stay away from men who ask for your phone number and use it a month later. Stay away from men who arrange a date with you but call it off a few hours before with a lame excuse and try you again two weeks later. Also stay away from men who ask you out the day before. These are all indicators that he is not serious about dating and his intentions might not be genuine. The bottom line is: know how you want to be treated and say no to everyone who fails at that.

*Say No to Dates Who Do not Promise What You Want
You go on a few dates and the guy seems okay. You have a few doubts and questions, the butterflies are not there but he is a genuinely nice guy. You start to talk yourself into liking him. This is the time to say no and create space for a man who will make you feel uplifted, loved and inspired instead. It is about going for what you deserve rather than settling for second best. If chemistry is not there on the first few dates, it will not come 10 years later.

*Say No to Sex Early On
This is where most ladies mess up. A guy needs to deserve the cherry on the cake–intimacy with you. It is not about being prudish and old fashioned. It is about sending a message across that you have rules around sex and you want them to be respected. And he will respect them if he is after the whole package and not just a one-night stand. He will even respect you more for having boundaries and not jumping into bed at the first opportunity.

*Say No to Anything That Does not Serve You
Whether it is at the very beginning or three months into dating, keep your eyes open for warning signs. We get plenty of them but we choose to ignore them for many different reasons like fear of being alone again, the hope of things changing, the desire to have someone in your life. Your intuition is the best guide. Listen to it and say no when things don’t feel absolutely right.

When you learn to say no in dating, you get your power back. You will feel like you are in charge of your love life. You will know that every no brings you closer to finding a suitable man. A man who will love you madly, want to spend the rest of his life with you and treat you like the most precious thing in his life.

To our happiness, Cheers.

This post was syndicated from The Guardian Nigeria Newspaper – Nigeria and World News. Click here to read the full text on the original website.

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